About

This is a story about my life… my life as The Tortured Wife.

It’s a story about a husband who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants, and a family (his family), that supported his infidelity.

It’s a story about too many miscarriages and more loss than anyone should have to bear.

It’s a story about a Mom who is trying to do the best for her kids, after being dealt a really shitty hand in life.

I live in a small, quaint town in Connecticut where the Norman Rockwell ideal is everywhere and divorce is rare. Yay me!!

Most days I feel as if I am on this journey completely alone. Many days I ask myself… can I please just catch a break?! But above all, I try my hardest to live each day with a smile on my face. It’s not always easy, but I’m trying.

I welcome all comments. Let’s take this journey together… we are not alone.

6 thoughts on “About

  1. CompletelyDevastated

    Dear Tortured Wife,
    I, too, have been devastated by infidelity. I just found out November 6, 2013 that the man I’ve been with for 12 years & married to for 5 years has been cheating on me since, at least, February of 2011. I discovered texts, emails, pics & videos of these whores – some of which were married, co-workers & hired “sensual massage therapists”. Since the discovery, he’s been on his “best behavior” but I can’t help but to constantly wonder…
    I also waited until I was in my 30’s to get married and truly believed that I had filtered through the bad and snagged a “good one” but it turns out, they’re all the same. This is a man who I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, someone I’d grow old with, someone to be the father of my children. Sadly, I don’t have children because while I was taking myself off the pill & taking prenatal vitamins to ready my body for conception, he was too busy fucking other women and was unable to “get it up” for me. At 42, I feel it’s too late but probably for the best.
    How do you deal? How do you cope? He’s offered to go to therapy but has yet to make the call. I think he thinks by killing me with kindness and extravagant gifts, he can just sweep this under the rug.
    I’m completely devastated – any suggestions?

    Reply
    1. tag4770 Post author

      CompletelyDevastated, my heart aches for you. For you, for me, and for all the other women out there who are happily going about their lives when suddenly the rug gets pulled out from under us. I wish I had a magic pill that could take away all the hurt from all of us. My journey has been a long one and I’m still trying to gather the courage to blog about how my story unfolded. What I will say is this… For me, once that trust was broken it was hard to get back. Try as we did, things were just never the same. However that is different for everyone, and may be different for you. For me the phrase “good days and bad days” was never more accurate. Some days I thought I had a handle on it and could move past it, and other days were so, so tough. All I can say is take one day at a time, and go with your gut. Do not settle for anything less than happiness. Please, please keep me posted. Our unity in this battle gives us strength.

      Reply
  2. CompletelyDevastated

    Thank you so much for your response. Yes, you’re right, all we can do is take this “one day at a time”. My good days are decent but my bad days are BAD – can’t get out of bed, crying incessantly. The lying is what’s hurt me the most but sometimes I just can’t get the thoughts of him with other women out of my head. The way he spoke to them via text and the dirty requests – the things women will do if asked, I suppose. I find myself checking our wireless phone bill online, just to be sure he doesn’t have any more inappropriate contact with anyone, I’ve even downloaded a “tracker” app on his phone. He’s in sales (works from home) and travels from time to time – most recent acts of infidelity happened on several of these overnight business trips. I found out he was communicating regularly with several of his female coworkers from his corporate office and they would meet in hotels, have fancy dinners and then he’d spend the night with them. It makes me sick to think that he could do this to me. I’ve always felt secure in this relationship and prided myself in never being the wife that had to keep “tabs” on my husband. He’s always had the freedom to come & go as he pleases and never had to ask “permission” to hang out with the boys but now he’s f**ked that up. I’m so torn – we have a beautiful home and I’m well provided for but I’m not sure if it’s all worth it for me to stay. How long has your journey lasted so far? I’ve only been dealing with this for 3 months and it feels like I’m never going to get through it. I almost feel like I would’ve been better off if I didn’t find out…
    Ah, if there were only that “magic pill” for all of us to take…

    Reply
    1. tag4770 Post author

      My journey has been a few years. You need to ask yourself if you can ever fully trust him again. Funny, I always prided myself as well as never having to keep tabs. He had all the freedom he wanted. And then when he broke that trust, and had to face the consequences, he’d get mad at me. It’s such narcissistic behavior. Can you trust him, will you always worry when he is on the road, can you find peace after the betrayal and most importantly, what does your gut say… Those are the questions you can ask yourself. And listen to that inner voice, even if it is yelling you something you may not want to hear.

      Reply
    1. tag4770 Post author

      I truly hope my words can help you. And please know your comments help me more than you’ll ever know. It helps me to know that I am not alone.

      Reply

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